One month in…

It is almost serendipitous that the year to do the day I lost my father, I am also experiencing my first 30 days living overseas. I miss him – his first born, he would always call me – a year without him doesn’t seem real, but I have felt him and his presence though, several times throughout this year.

I heard his voice cheering me on, when I first got back on a 4wheeler in the Agafay Mountains of Morocco – since my terrible Costa Rican accident.

He dried my tears, as I lost some relationships, I once held dear. I felt his prayers while he watched me board my one way flight to Thailand, proud of me for following my dreams and starting a new chapter.

This past month has been a lot to process – some real lows I can’t lie – while also experiencing some overwhelming highs, and while the lows list might possibly be longer than the highs. I choose to focus on those highs – because counting your blessings just seems so much more productive right?

To be frank; I probably haven’t prayed this much in my life in a very long time – but it has brought me great peace – while also allowing me to appreciate the amount of good energy people I have met – who already feel like lifelong friends.

Can I just share one story of what I mean?

Of course I can – otherwise you wouldn’t be here 😋

It is day one of my arrival into Chiang Mai – I am super excited about the Airbnb I booked – I could already picture my days filled with amazing morning workouts while spending my afternoons working on my website; at my apartments rooftop pool. I guess this is why they say, the best-laid plans can still go wrong – this place ended up being a dump! As the cleaning lady continued to show me around the apartment my heart sank further and further – what have I gotten myself into? – I prepaid a month already, for this!! I took the key reluctantly as she started to close the door behind her – I was left in my silence – in utter disbelief – is this what I left my pretty nice lifestyle back home in Houston for? I tried to make the best of it – and I somehow managed to let my eyes drift off at the end of the night hoping that in the morning everything would be better. But oh, quite the contrary! As the dawn of the new day began, the light shined even brighter on all the reasons why I thought this place was disgusting – I sunk deeper into a sadness that I knew I couldn’t deal with – at this point I decided I had to get out of here, my peace and transition to a new country was not supposed to begin like this.

For the next 3.5 hours I fought with Airbnb to let me out of this place, since the owner said there was nothing he could do about letting me out – the best he could do is send housekeeping – but this was the type of stuff even housekeeping couldn’t fix. 🥴

In the interim – I found a new airbnb of my dreams! Could it be true?! I just had to have it! The reviews were great and it was in a great neighborhood & walking distance to pretty much everything – the only caveat was it wouldn’t be available for another 5 days! 💔 so I started looking up hotels and found a perfect spot for the right price! I was thrilled – but also still in limbo because I was still waiting to hear if I was going to get my money back – it was an almost 700$ investment!

When I finally got word that I was going to get everything back minus 70$ – I booked my new Airbnb with a quickness, as well as the hotel, and I got the hell up out of there – and didn’t look back. and in the cab ride to my living situation I found a meditation class for beginners that was happening in 2 hours.

As soon as I walked into my hotel room – it felt like a boulder lifted itself from my chest – I was in heaven! I joyfully took a shower – and got ready for meditation class – I was ecstatic I was ready to release all the lows that led up to this very moment.

As I prepared to leave – I reached to my phone to book my Grab (Thailand version of Uber) – a car ride would cost me 1.25 – but the motorbike ride would cost me .50cents – everything was going my way – I was feeling invincible, why not try something new! So I did it – I booked my first motorbike! – and other than super long distance rides – I haven’t been in a car since ❤️with the wind in my braids and the biggest smile on my face – I knew this moment would forever be in my memory. It was some of the most exhilarating 7 minutes of my life 🙃

When I walk through the doors of Chiang Mai Holistic – I had no idea what to expect all I knew that a Tibetan Sound bath sounded exactly like what my soul needed. As I entered the meditation room waiting for class to begin – I took a quick scan of the other souls and wondered if they needed this as much as I did, while also figuring out how I was supposed to sit down properly 😅and no sooner as I sat down – the very first person I had noticed said hello! and her accent told me she was American – she hails from Oakland, CA and we immediately hit it off – her warm smile and beautiful energy radiated off her – we clearly met in a different life time because we clicked so well – we made definite plans to get a glass of wine after meditation ❤️🍷Eek!! my first friend!! 🙃

This was a beautiful hour and half of self reflection – the sounds from the bowls were transformative as I released all the negative energy that may have still been left inside. I have never mediated before and it was quite a challenge but for my first time I stayed on track for the most part until the man next to me started snoring 😒 then thoughts turned to damn can’t wait for that wine 🙏🏾

after a beautiful ceremony – my new friend from Oakland and her new friend from India; we all walked together to this beautiful Italian restaurant to share wine and get to know each other more – it was such a beautiful night; in the end we made plans to get together to watch the sunset over wine the very next night!

As we said our farewells – I wanted to bask in this amazing feel I was experiencing and decided to walk the 8 min home.

With a full heart – and eyes filled with happy tears I gazed at the beautiful night sky of my new home city – I couldn’t help but to thank God for his many blessings and for getting me in a better living situation – and I talked to my Dad; gleefully telling him his first born is doing it! ~ while asking for him to continue to watch over me.

This next month I am ready to begin digging deeper and continue to show up for myself and to do even more self love and discovery – it can feel uncertain and foreign at times but I now know I am exactly where I need to be and the community I have built so far I know will help nurture this new life journey I am on.

To everyone back home for the kind words, and check-ins – they do not go unnoticed – I appreciate them deeply and ask for your continued thoughts and prayers.

Are you living your life with intention and unapologetically? I would love to hear a life dream of yours in the comments ✨

x

I love and miss you Dad